Desperate

When have I been desperate for you, God? This morning Gary and I attended the Citywide Prayer  monthly gathering. Kristen went with us and our friend, Eric. Pastors and people from all over the Kansas City metropolitan area gather to pray, praise God and partner to advance His Kingdom not their own. As we sang a very familiar song, This Is the Air I Breathe,

I wondered, God, when was the last time I was really desperate for you? What would that look like and feel like? I immediately thought about the unexpected death of our youngest daughter, 20 years ago this spring and I remembered being desperate for God's presence and help.

But when since then? And was there a time prior to that? Really, I have led a very sheltered and protected life, spared from much tragedy and hardship. I have struggled and experienced challenges but not many that caused me to cry out to God as if my life depended upon it! Comfortable could be used to describe most of my life...and I know that that is not most of the world's experience.

This year has been a difficult year. Our lives have been touched personally with loss as we watched a marriage explode from the inside! Divorce is horribly painful for everyone!

Our church family at Indian Creek suffered the death of several who were dear dear friends. And we grieve those losses.

I do believe that death and loss are more a part of our reality than we know and it is in those times that we are most likely to realize our dependent desperation for a God who gives eternal life! I do want to long for God! Tonight, Luke talked about the reality of his year and the fact that with each obstacle we experience in which our faith and trust in God grows, comes more opportunity to exercise more faith and trust the next time. I do believe that pain and loss are amazing teachers of humility and grace.

I do want to lead from an intimate place, sacred center focused on God!

O God, You are my God, earnestly I seek You; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water. Psalm 63:1

May this be a year of drinking from His presence and giving that Living Water to others!