Though I am excited, it is bittersweet! Today we celebrate the life of a woman who impacted my character and life for the last 23 years! Valera Bachman was an incredible woman of strength and prayer! She actually recorded her wishes for her entire memorial service and we are adhering to them as closely as we can! It was my joy to combine personal and family memories with the obituary to remember her. So I will post it here. It is long but it is the last thing we can do for her so we don't care.
The Story of Ms Valera L. Bachman
December 19, 1940 ~ June 27, 2009
Valera was born in Jersey Shore, Pa., on December 19, 1940 to Chris and Margaret Bachman. She was one of two children born to a man dedicated to helping others find their way to God. Valera learned early to be creative with her resources. The Operation Backpack is close to Valera’s heart because as a child her family needed assistance at times to provide the resources to attend school.
Her brother, Millard shared a childhood memory of when he was about 10 and Valera was about 7.
Our father, he said, had a 1937 Pontiac. I had learned how to start the car. Dad was making a church visit and when I saw him return, I started the car with Valera standing on the passenger’s seat. This type of car had a foot-operated starter by the accelerator pedal and I pushed the starter plunger…with one problem…the transmission was in reverse. The car started bucking and lurching, Valera was screaming in the front seat and dad was chasing after the out of control car. Fortunately, I had enough sense to turn off the key and enough sense not to ever attempt this type of stunt again.
Valera and her brother had a special relationship. He said, Valera and I had many discussions. Both of us being stubborn Germans, I was always right.
Valera had a great sense of humor (The sarcastic Bachman type of humor). One time, a friend of hers desperately wanted to purchase a Mercedes. Having lived in Iowa, Millard had a 1960 that was badly rusted. Eventually, I scrapped the car and gave Valera a hubcap and the odometer. First she sent the hood ornament to him in the mail and then she elegantly, gift wrapped the other parts and presented them to her friend anomalously—giving him his first Mercedes!
Valera obtained a bachelor’s and master’s degree from the University of Oklahoma. And was she ever until her dying day a Boomer Sooner fan! She was known to call her niece’s husband, who was a Longhorn fan from the University of Texas when Oklahoma beat Texas and sing the Boomer Sooner fight song on his voicemail if he didn’t answer!
Valera had her first teaching job in Las Vegas. The school district was one of only ones that would accept a “handicapped” person. In addition, Valera had to prove that she was qualified to teach children. It was hard for her to be away from her family, but she soon became involved with a church and established ties to the community. In typical Valera fashion, she proved to the system that she was capable of handling her new job responsibilities and much more! Not only did she succeed, she excelled! One year she was presented the prestigious Crystal Apple Teacher’s Award!
Valera taught first grade for 35 years! Almost all of those years in the very same classroom! Poem?
She had a very special gift for nurturing children in the classroom, church and in her own home. Her nieces and grand niece testify of that.
Niece, Nancy Bachman Hamilton shares, As children, we often took family vacations to visit Aunt Valera and Grandma Bachman. If Excel had existed at that time, we would have had a spreadsheet noting games, locations and starting times. Our favorite activity was playing question and answer games on the staircase. Lisa and I would start at the bottom of the staircase, and with each correct answer would climb up a step. Of course, the winner was the first to reach the top of the stairs. It’s amazing how such a simple exercise, was both educational and memorable.
Lisa and Nancy both share the one special memory of attending Valera’s evening Sunday school class. We were extremely proud of our Aunt Valera and actually felt like she had “rock star” status. All of the kids in her class loved her; she made learning fun, all while managing to keep a class of 12, crazy elementary aged kids under control. Somehow, at a very young age, we understood how this unique woman would help, care and positively affect the lives of many.
Other special memories of Lisa and Nancy’s include: Eating at Andres, shopping at "The Cat's Meow" and Chocolate Soup. Need we say more?
Nancy remembers being horribly excited when I started to approach Valera’s height. I was VERY excited when I passed her up.
As children, Nancy and Lisa say that every time they left Valera’s home after a visit, they cried! Their aunt’s home was like SIX FLAGS OVER BACHMAN. There was always something fun to do there.
Great niece, Olivia Hamilton, had her own special memories of her GREAT Aunt:
· Valera loved to teach me how to play board games! Many times when adults play games with kids, they let the kids win automatically. Not Aunt Valera! You had to play by the rules and earn your win. This taught me how to be a good loser…Well kind of J
· One year I was able to go to Aunt Valera’s school and visit her classroom. I especially remember the guinea pigs!
Lisa said, When I was in my early 20s, Valera and I went on a shopping trip to the Dallas Galleria. As we were window-shopping, a very handsome man in a business suit started walking towards us saying “Ms. Bachman? Ms. Bachman?” I thought I had won the jackpot! Who was this man? How did I know him? How did he know me? Well, there just happened to be two Ms. Bachmans in the group and I wasn’t the Ms. Bachman who taught this man at Pawnee Elementary School.
· Valera had many wonderful children’s books. My favorite was a book named “Let’s Find Charlie”. It followed a young girl’s search for her missing mouse Charlie. The book contained small windows, doors and cabinets that could be opened during the search for Charlie. I read the book over and over again, until it nearly fell apart. Well interestingly enough, I have now found Charlie, my Husband of 8 years.
Valera was dedicated to the Indian Creek Community Church, where she volunteered each week to teach children about a God who loved them no matter what and that they could trust Him to be faithful to them. She desired more than anything for them to know that they too could have a relationship with a God who would sustain them through life!
Valera loved children, church, chocolate and her cats! And not necessarily in that order. I took her a gift recently that was three note pads stacked crookedly and tied with ribbon that said, Love me. Love my cats!
· Valera’s heart was dedicated to the Lord, her relatives, beloved friends, and her precious cats. She was an encourager and she loved to purchase cards and send them! I visited her just a few days prior to her leaving here and found her seated on the floor surrounded by Ziploc baggies of meticulously organized and CATegorized and she was working to finish a stack of birthday and get well cards and that she did! She was a card writer –Anniversaries, Christmas, Birthdays, Valentine’s Day, Halloween, etc. Whatever the event, she always put tremendous thought into the recipient’s personality and the content of the card…hopefully both were cat oriented.
· Just curious, would you stand if you EVER received a card from her?
· Nephew-in-law, Charlie Waldie says that he always looked forward to Valera’s annual Christmas card, because it always chronicled the preceding year’s events—written through the eyes, ears and voice of her cats. I always knew of Lisa’s obsession with cats and I soon learned that it also applied to her sister, niece and parents. But it was not until Valera’s first “cat” Christmas card that I realized that this particular affliction was a genetic Bachman trait. It was just so…cute. It wasn’t long after that first Christmas card that Lisa and I got our first cat, Nina. It seems that this particular affliction was contagious.
Valera had two cats left at home: Muffie and Tiffany were coauthors of the annual Christmas letter. Tiffany was very friendly and loving. Muffie on the other hand was very mean. We learned recently that Muffie had cancer and that the vet had not told Valera because she was having so many health issues herself. Valera LOVED those cats! They were her babies and when she learned that she would be leaving them soon she began to plan where they would go. Tracey confessed to me that they actually had Muffie put to sleep because she was so sick. Tracey said Ms Valera never knew that Muffie had cancer. She knows now. Tracey realized. Can you imagine how surprised Valera was when she discovered Muffie in heaven! She probably said, Why Muffie, what are you doing here?
Valera was a creature of habit and a connoisseur of food. When she came to visit Texas, I would always ask if she had any special requests. Oh, yes she did! Orange juice, cranberry juice, eggbeaters, toast, Carnation Breakfast Mix, oatmeal…. And if it’s not too much trouble…Crème de menthe bars, Strawberry Russian Crème, Kolachis, vanilla ice cream, hot fudge sauce, etc. You would almost think she was a pop star diva going on tour! -Judy Bachman
As a regular bedtime snack, Valera would enjoy a Frozen Dove Ice Cream bar. This was not your traditional sized bar, it was a tiny bar the size of an Oreo. Valera could make that Dove bar last 15 minutes, while most others inhaled the miniature snack in less than 2 bites. We believe that Tracey Sinclair might have had some similar experiences.
Valera enjoyed the nostalgia and elegance of tearooms. Whenever she would visit, I would research new tearooms and pick out a special location. We would always ask Millard to join us, and the common response was “Enjoy Yourself”.
Lisa relates that Valera had incredible self-control and an uncanny ability when it came to rationing Andre’s Chocolates. Valera would buy a month’s worth of chocolates and eat only one truffle per day. Somehow, I also inherited this ability to ration, until I ran into a stumbling block…my husband. I came home from work one day and had my husband literally eaten an entire box in one sitting. From there on out, after receiving a gift of Andres’ Chocolates from Valera, I would split the chocolates down the middle, place in two separate plastic baggies and name one for my husband and one for myself. I took this process one step further by placing my chocolates in a secret hiding place. Fool me once…
The family described Valera as a Godly woman, always praying and very, very stubborn! (I only hope that my strong will serves me as well as hers served her.) Valera was classy and elegant. Simple and humble... She was strong and incredibly giving. She lived a life of generosity. Valera impacted positively everyone that she encountered. The woman at the Andres store remembered her. The mailman asked about her absence and the forwarding of her mail. They said one of the things that they would miss the most were her prayers. She was always concerned for others.
Valera was victorious in her battle with breast cancer and used her experience to support and pray for other cancer patients. When I went to visit Valera in the ER after she had been nonresponsive she called me to her bedside and said, Linda Parker is having surgery on Monday!
Niece, Nancy shared, Every Birthday, we would always look forward to a call first thing in the morning from Valera. She would sing Happy Birthday and then chat for a bit. This past birthday, just like clockwork, I received my call from Valera. This year was quite different, since she was calling from ICU. She sang like always, asked how everyone was doing, and of course asked about my cats. Our family was scheduled to fly to Kansas City the very next day. Our conversation ended with saying our goodbyes and planning to see each other the next day. One hour later I received a phone call from my dad telling me that Valera had passed away. The earlier Birthday phone call and serenade is the most special Birthday gift that I will ever receive. It’s not surprising to hear that Valera spent her last hours still giving to others.
After succumbing to scoliosis, she donated her body to KU Medical Center so that others might not suffer.
She wanted to go straight from her home to her eternal home in heaven! After two trips to the ER it became evident to her that she would no longer be able to live independently in her residence as she had done since her mother died. Valera had lived alone with her mother, Margaret since her father had died more than twenty years ago. When Margaret went home to heaven Valera was content to stay in the same home.
I first met Valera sometime in 1984 when Gary and I were serving at the First Church of God in Shawnee, Kansas and the church had determined that God was leading them to reach out to Olathe and start a new body. Five families were driving into Shawnee from Olathe and were concerned for their neighbors and coworkers who were far from God. Valera Bachman and her mother, Margaret lived in Overland Park and were attending a church in Kansas City Missouri but felt compelled to join the effort because Olathe was closer to them then the First Church of God in Kansas City, Kansas or Missouri. Valera's father had served as a pastor and had planted a church in Lawrence, Kansas decades prior. Valera and Margaret had the experience and the faith in God to know that He could do it again—this time in Olathe!
From the very beginning they were all in! Their pioneering spirits were unmatched and contagious! Although Margaret was well into her seventy's and Valera was nearing retirement from teaching in the Shawnee Mission School District, they had hearts to invest their lives, effort and gifts for the Kingdom of God for things that they knew would outlast them. Margaret was an avid prayer warrior and a positive encourager. Valera jumped into to teach the kindergartners and was an encourager and prayer warrior as well.
That first Christmas in 1985 Valera brought me several little gifts, one for each of our children. She said she knew the church was small but she wanted the pastor's children to know that they were special. She had experienced the sacrifice and wanted to be an encouragement and blessing in our lives! When Gary conducted a funeral she told me that her father had always given whatever extra monetary gift he received for funerals to her mother so she could buy a new dress.
Over the years Valera became my personal confidante and prayer warrior. I remember calling her when I was struggling with parenting four little ones under six years old and she said she certainly would pray and that she did. And I know that she had not stopped. She called me regularly to keep up with their current status and most recent needs to pray. And she always asked me about my mom and dad because she knew that they did not yet believe that they needed a personal relationship with God.
Two weeks ago Wednesday night when Valera left Indian Creek Community Church she waved to me from across the atrium saying that she would call me the next morning. However, when a friend took her home that evening she collapsed on the kitchen floor. After an ambulance ride to an unfamiliar hospital dear friend, Tracey Sinclair, was waiting when the paramedic hopped out. When Tracey asked if Valera was still unresponsive, he declared, "Not anymore. She was talking in the ambulance! It is a miracle! He said. She was unresponsive! It is a miracle!
We all knew because she had insisted that everyone be aware that she had a DNR or as some term, an A.N.D (Allow Natural Death). She definitely didn't want to go anywhere in between here and heaven. That night in the ER the paramedic returned to Valera's bedside to bring her a consent form to sign. He said, “…giving us permission to do what we did because we honestly didn’t believe that she was going to be around to sign it!
A few days later she was released to return home. There devoted friend, Tracey, kept watch and cared for Valera in Valera's own home. (Tracey even got to sleep in Margaret's old bedroom. We were so glad when Judy, Valera's beloved sister-in-law came to stay awhile. Judy was only here a little more than a day when she realized that Valera's breathing was again more laborious that she could handle at home so they were headed to the hospital when a kidzAlive! team member stopped by to pick up the material that Valera had been working to complete. Valera had enlisted the help of those who came to visit her to cut out the materials for the children's classes through August!
And then the very next Wednesday night I headed to the hospital to be with dear Valera. This time there was no party in the ER. The request was made for no other visitors as breathing was requiring all of Valera's energy and focus. Still she wanted to talk! We stayed until we were satisfied that she was resting well and that if we didn't leave she would get no sleep trying to keep us company.
Thursday night Gary and I went to Shawnee Mission Medical Center to be with Valera before leaving town for the annual International Convention of the Church of God in Indiana (which the Bachman's had attended on numerous occasions) and then spend a week of vacation. I knew that I didn't want to go without seeing her and praying with her. We spent some time and she was struggling for us to understand her because of the oxygen mask that was helping her to breathe but she managed anyway. She wanted to again remind us of how very good God had been to her to provide people at just the right time to be there for her. All she could talk about was His goodness!
I hated to leave town when she was so weak. I knew that the plan was to consult the doctors the next day to get their collaborated advice. We were flying all morning, though I was in the air, my heart was back in SMMC with sweet Valera. Mid morning I heard that doctors were going to allow her to get rid of the oxygen mask and work toward getting to go home with hospice and she was jubilant! Tracey told me that Valera had a huge grin on her face and was rejoicing that they were going to honor her wishes not to go to invasive extremes to delay her departure. She told them that she was planning her trip to heaven! She wanted it to be a happy occasion! Of course it is for her! It is those of us who don't get to go with her who is sad! We will certainly miss her presence here!
Valera lived well and finished the race here going far more than the estimated distance that doctors had projected early in her life! My heart is sad as I can't even grasp the reality that: she is no longer here! The body she spent her days here housed in is dedicated to giving knowledge to medicine that others might benefit. It is at KU Medical Center where her dear brother, Millard once worked. (Interesting how things come around) Even in her dying she is thinking of others and giving! There is no doubt in my mind that she is rejoicing running through heaven greeting the host of others who beat her there: there is her father, her mother, one of her brothers, many from Indian Creek: Wayne Stout, Spike Jones, Larry Thomas, Lowell and Wylena Burns, young Bob Shuler, Jeff Williamson, and our own darling daughter--Megan. And then there are the hosts from the Bible who have been her inspiration over the years: Esther, Moses, Joseph, Mary, Paul, James, John, Rehab and the list goes on and on until the ultimate resident, Jesus Christ greets her Himself!
Enter in, dear precious sister Valera, daughter of the King, find that mansion. Our lives have been enriched and the body has been enhanced because of Valera Bachman's living her life in sacrifice for the Kingdom of God! May her legacy of children in the Lord go on and on and on!
Though it is indeed difficult to say good-bye here, it is exuberant to think of Valera forever in heaven whole! HALLELUJAH!!!! Precious to God is the death of His saints! HALLELUJAH!!!!
